Blaming, Complaining, & Defensiveness.
In the content of BCD, there is never a good time to Blame, Complain, or get Defensive. These actions are of no value and solve nothing.
BCD is a highly contagious action that works quickly through groups with shared experiences. The group setting makes it so those BCDing together feel validated together.
Literally anything else, walk you dog, make coffee, focus on your work.
That's not to say the spark that causes BCD comes from a bad place, BCD is just an unproductive action. If you are able to solve the problem behind the spark of your BCD, that's the most productive action to take instead of BCDing.
When someone gets defensive, it is usually from a place of high-ego and low self-confidence. Defensive responses stem from an impulse driven reaction to something that was perceived as a threat to ego. Alternatively, explaining your actions or decisions is a sober-minded and honest telling of why you did or said something, explaining can tell your side of the story without getting defensive.
My Spouse or Significant Other?
No one wants to hear you BCD, the above people would, however, welcome the opportunity of helping you solve the problem that sparked your BCD or hear you explain the situation that made you frustrated. No one wants to hear you blame someone else, complain about circumstances, or get defensive about your actions.
Your reaction to someone who is BCDing depends on several factors, including your role, you relationship, and your risk.
If the person you hear BCDing is someone you lead, it is certainly your responsibility to address that persons actions.
If that person is someone you have influence with, someone you might consider a friend you may not have the responsibility or desire to address that person but doing so would be the right choice.
If you are not the person's leader and feel you are at risk for joining in on the BCD, the best solution is to physically remove yourself from that location.
Absolutely! Any of this content could be easily adapted to teach your children about BCD, they will almost certainly thank you for it one day.
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